Christmas: take care of your emotions
Christmas: take care of your emotions
How to face the Christmas period by harmonizing emotions and stress? How can you overcome the “Christmas Blues”? What can online therapy do?
Christmas is a unique time of year, rich in traditions, memories, and profound emotional meanings. As Michael Smith points out in his influential work “The Psychology of Christmas,” this holiday is not only a time of celebrations, but also a crossroads of complex and often contrasting emotions.
During Christmas, people can experience a wide range of feelings, from euphoric joy to melancholy and nostalgia. This emotional variety is a universal phenomenon, influenced by cultural, personal, and situational factors.
Smith (2015) highlights how Christmas can act as a powerful emotional catalyst, bringing memories to mind and stimulating personal reflections. Understanding and welcoming this spectrum of emotions is crucial in order to make the most of the Christmas period, allowing a richer and more meaningful experience of the holiday.
Christmas in Balance: Harmonizing Emotions and Stress
Recognition and Acceptance of Emotions
During Christmas, a wide variety of emotions shows up in our everyday life. As James J. Gross suggests in his study “Emotion Regulation” (2018), the key to healthy emotional management lies in recognizing and accepting our emotions, rather than trying to suppress or ignore them. Gross underscores the importance of listening to what our emotions are trying to tell us, especially during intense periods such as the Christmas holidays. Recognizing emotions—both the joyful ones and the more melancholy ones—is a fundamental step toward an authentic emotional experience and can help prevent the buildup of unmanaged stress.
Managing Holiday Stress
The Christmas period, though full of joy and celebrations, can also be a source of significant stress. In “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers” (2019), Robert M. Sapolsky offers an in-depth exploration of human stress mechanisms, applicable to the holiday context as well. Sapolsky suggests that adopting proactive stress-management strategies—such as planning holiday commitments in advance and setting aside personal pockets of calm—can help mitigate the anxiety and emotional overload typical of this time. He also emphasizes the importance of moments dedicated to rest and relaxation, to allow mind and body to recover from the often demanding requirements of Christmas.
Overcoming Loneliness: Rediscovering Connections During the Christmas Period
Christmas is often perceived as a time of togetherness and cheer, but for many it can also be a period of isolation and loneliness. John T. Cacioppo, in his influential work “Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection” (2017), explores the profound impact of loneliness on the individual, especially during the holidays. Cacioppo highlights how the lack of meaningful social connections can negatively affect mental and physical health, underscoring the importance of finding ways to connect with others—even in seemingly isolated situations.
During Christmas, it is essential to actively seek company and support, both physically and virtually. This can include taking part in community events, volunteering, or simply reaching out to friends and family through calls or messages. The key is to break the cycle of loneliness by creating moments of genuine connection, which can transform Christmas from a period of isolation into one of human warmth and belonging.
Shining with Gratitude: The Light of Reflection at Christmas
The Christmas period offers a unique opportunity for reflection and gratitude, crucial aspects of our emotional well-being. According to Michael E. McCullough, author of “The Psychology of Gratitude” (2020), practicing gratitude during the holidays can have a significantly positive impact on our mental health. McCullough explains how gratitude not only improves our mood but also helps us reconnect with positive past experiences and value present moments. During Christmas, taking a moment to reflect on what we are grateful for—from meaningful relationships to everyday aspects of life—can transform our emotional experience of the holidays. This exercise in reflection not only allows us to appreciate what we have, but also encourages us to recognize and celebrate the progress and successes of the past year. Embracing gratitude and reflection at Christmas can therefore be a powerful antidote to the frenzy and stress that often accompany this season.
Holiday Resilience: Weaving Relationships and Self-Care for Psychological Well-Being
In the vibrant fabric of the Christmas holidays, social relationships and self-care intertwine, creating a mosaic of emotional and physical well-being. Matthew D. Lieberman, in his work “Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect” (2018), explores the fundamental importance of social relationships for our psychological well-being. During Christmas, these connections become even more valuable, offering emotional support and reducing the sense of isolation that some may feel. Positive interactions with friends and family can increase the sense of belonging and happiness, underscoring the healing power of human relationships.
In parallel, Jayne Hardy in “The Self-Care Project” (2019) stresses the importance of self-care, especially in a hectic time like Christmas. Self-care is not just an act of kindness toward oneself, but a necessity for maintaining mental and physical balance. Strategies such as setting boundaries, dedicating time to relaxing hobbies, and practicing mindfulness can help restore serenity amid the holiday bustle. Balancing the cultivation of positive social relationships with time dedicated to self-care can transform Christmas into a period of renewal and joy, rather than stress and fatigue.
Echoes of Childhood: Christmas as a Mirror of Past Memories
The feelings we have about Christmas are deeply rooted in our childhood experiences. As Alice Miller points out in her study “The Roots of Christmas Emotions” (2021), the traditions, celebrations, and emotions experienced during childhood can significantly influence our approach to Christmas in adulthood. Miller explores how joyful memories as well as more difficult ones often surface during the holidays, influencing our emotions and reactions. These memories can be triggered by specific traditions, songs, smells, or even just the general atmosphere of Christmas.
This link between childhood and Christmas is not just nostalgic reminiscence, but a powerful factor shaping our current emotional experience. Understanding this link can help us better explore the complex emotions that emerge during the holidays and create new traditions that reflect who we are today. Reflecting on these memories can also offer opportunities to heal old wounds and to reconnect with the pure, simple joy we often associate with childhood Christmases.
The “Christmas Blues” Phenomenon: Understanding and Addressing Holiday Melancholy
The phenomenon known as the “Christmas Blues” describes a set of negative emotions that many people experience during the Christmas period. According to Dr. John H. Krystal in “Seasonal Affective Disorders: Understanding Holiday Melancholy” (2022), this condition is characterized by feelings of sadness, anxiety, and melancholy, often exacerbated by the pressures and expectations associated with Christmas. Krystal observes that various factors contribute to these moods, including nostalgia for past Christmases, the pressure to create a “perfect” celebration, and disappointment over unmet expectations—both in terms of gifts and interpersonal relationships.
The “Christmas Blues” can also be aggravated by painful memories or a lack of meaningful social contacts. The holidays can in fact evoke memories of loved ones lost or of happy moments from the past, creating a sharp contrast with the present. Moreover, the idealized portrayal of Christmas in the media and popular culture can create a gap between expectations and reality, leading to feelings of inadequacy and isolation.
To effectively address the “Christmas Blues,” Krystal recommends adopting a holistic approach that includes recognizing and accepting these feelings rather than trying to suppress or ignore them. He also suggests engaging in activities that promote personal well-being, such as physical exercise, meditation, or participation in social events. Another crucial aspect is managing expectations: accepting that Christmas may not always be perfect can help reduce pressure and allow us to enjoy what life actually has to offer.
Finally, Krystal emphasizes the importance of seeking emotional support. Sharing one’s feelings with trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals can provide comfort and different perspectives. Recognizing that the “Christmas Blues” is a common and temporary condition can help put its scope into perspective and find constructive ways to face the emotional challenges of the holidays.
What can online therapy do?
While the Christmas period can be challenging from an emotional standpoint, it also offers a unique opportunity for personal growth and healing. Online therapy can be a beacon of hope and a source of positive transformation.
In particular, online therapy can help address the “Christmas Blues,” manage holiday stress, and process feelings of loneliness or grief that may be exacerbated during this period. A course of online psychotherapy can offer its support in identifying negative thought patterns, addressing unresolved relationship issues, and developing new perspectives that encourage resilience and optimism. In addition, they can provide safe spaces to explore and rework painful memories linked to the holidays, allowing people to find peace and acceptance.
Encouraging the search for therapeutic support during the holidays can therefore be a vital step toward well-being. Online therapy is not only a means to address immediate difficulties, but an investment in one’s long-term well-being. Through the therapeutic process, people can discover greater self-awareness and develop skills to experience the holidays in a more meaningful and joyful way. Ultimately, the therapeutic approach can transform the Christmas period from a time of challenge into an opportunity for personal renewal and emotional growth.
References:
- Cacioppo, John T., and William Patrick. “Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection.” W. W. Norton & Company, 2008.
- Gilbert, Daniel. “Stumbling on Happiness.” Vintage, 2007.
- Gross, James J. “Handbook of Emotion Regulation.” The Guilford Press, 2013.
- Kabat-Zinn, Jon. “Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness.” Delta, 1990.
- Lieberman, Matthew D. “Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect.” Crown, 2013.
- Seligman, Martin E.P. “Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life.” Vintage, 2006.
- Sapolsky, Robert M. “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers: The Acclaimed Guide to Stress, Stress-Related Diseases, and Coping.” St. Martin’s Griffin, 2004.
For information, write to Dr. Jessica Zecchini.
Email contact consulenza@jessicazecchini.it, WhatsApp contact 370 32 17 351.
