Seven types of narcissists and how to recognize them
Seven types of narcissists and how to recognize them
Who are narcissists and what distinctive characteristics do they present according to the classification of H.G. Tudor? What can online therapy do?
Narcissism, commonly misunderstood as simple egocentrism, is in reality a complex personality pathology, with deep implications that permeate human relationships in ways that are often invisible yet destructive. This disorder is characterized by excessive self-love, a pathological need for admiration, and a marked lack of empathy toward others. Narcissists move through life like actors on a stage, where every interaction is a carefully calculated scene designed to confirm their grandiosity and superiority.
H.G. Tudor, an individual who self-identifies as a “narcissistic psychopath” and uses a pseudonym, emerges as an ambiguous yet illuminating figure in the field of narcissism psychology. Through his blog Knowing the Narcissist and numerous books, largely written during periods of incarceration in 2015 and 2016, Tudor offers an insider perspective on how narcissists function. He claims to understand these mechanisms better than many mental health professionals, thanks to his personal experience as a narcissist.
Tudor describes in detail the concept of narcissistic “fuel,” or narcissistic supply, which is the vital element for narcissists. This fuel is the emotional energy they receive from their interactions with others, whether it be admiration, obedience, love, hatred, or even suffering. It is this fuel that drives narcissists to behave in ways that can be extremely manipulative and harmful to those around them.
One of the most pernicious aspects of narcissistic behavior is the act of “hoovering,” so named for its analogy to the vacuum cleaner (hoover in English). This technique describes the narcissist’s attempt to “suck” a primary source of fuel back to themselves, often a previously discarded victim, through a series of calculated maneuvers designed to reignite the relationship or contact. Unlike healthy relationships, where parties may separate definitively after an ending, the narcissist sees the conclusion of a relationship only as a temporary pause, an interval before the next reconquest.
Tudor divides narcissists into three main types and four groups, each with specific traits and strategies that will be explored in detail in this article. This classification is essential for understanding not only how narcissists operate, but also how people can protect themselves from these toxic interactions.
Through the lens of H.G. Tudor, this article aims to provide an in-depth understanding of the various facets of narcissism and its manifestations, offering useful tools to recognize and, ideally, neutralize the harmful effects of these dynamics. Along this path of exploration, we will examine the seven types of narcissists described by Tudor, outlining characteristics, behaviors, and strategies for effectively managing relationships with such complex and challenging individuals.
Classification of narcissists according to H.G. Tudor: Lesser, Mid-Range, and Greater
H.G. Tudor, a self-proclaimed narcissist and psychopath, has developed a comprehensive classification of narcissists that helps to better understand the different manifestations of this personality disorder. His classification is structured into three main categories: the Lesser Narcissist, the Mid-Range Narcissist, and the Greater Narcissist. Each category reflects a different level of sophistication, self-awareness, and manipulative ability.
1. The Lesser Narcissist
The Lesser Narcissist is often the least sophisticated among narcissistic types. These individuals act primarily on impulse and have little awareness of their actions or of the consequences those actions may have on others. Their reactions are typically instinctive and primitive, characterized by outbursts of rage and aggressive behavior when they feel threatened or frustrated.
Characteristics:
Impulsivity: they act without thinking about consequences, driven by an immediate need for gratification.
Aggressiveness: they respond to challenges or criticism with explosive anger, often escalating into verbal or physical violence.
Low frustration tolerance: they become easily irritated when faced with obstacles or delays in satisfying their desires.
Poor impulse control: they may struggle with addictions and self-destructive behaviors.
These narcissists often do not rely on sophisticated manipulation strategies, but rather on direct intimidation and threats. Their capacity to cause harm can be substantial, especially for those who are intimately involved with them.
2. The Mid-Range Narcissist
The Mid-Range Narcissist represents a more calculating form of narcissism. These individuals are more controlled in their impulsive behaviors and use emotional manipulation as their primary tool to obtain what they want. They are skilled at maintaining a façade of normality or even kindness and understanding, which masks their true selfish and manipulative nature.
Characteristics:
Emotional manipulation: they use praise, guilt, and shame to control others.
Superficial charm: they appear pleasant and caring, but only to get what they want.
Victimhood: they often present themselves as victims of circumstances or of others’ actions to evoke sympathy and manipulate those around them.
Calculation: every action is weighed and aimed at maximizing personal benefit.
The Mid-Range Narcissist is less likely to resort to physical violence, preferring subtler and less visible methods to dominate and control their victims.
3. The Greater Narcissist
The Greater Narcissist is the most dangerous and skilled among narcissists. These individuals combine charisma, intelligence, and psychological acuity, which they use to manipulate and control others at levels of extreme sophistication. They are often successful individuals who occupy positions of power and influence, effectively masking their narcissistic tendencies behind a façade of success and respectability.
Characteristics:
High manipulative ability: they know exactly how and when to strike, using their deep understanding of the human psyche.
Control and calculation: every interaction is carefully planned to advance their status and power.
Seductive charm: they use their charisma and success to attract and seduce others, making their true intentions difficult to detect.
Double life: they often maintain an impeccable public image while secretly engaging in immoral or destructive behaviors.
Understanding these three categories of narcissism can provide crucial tools for recognizing and protecting oneself from narcissistic toxic behaviors, especially in intimate, professional, or family relationships. As we continue to explore the dynamics of narcissism, it is essential to develop defense and intervention strategies that can help victims regain control of their lives and minimize the damage caused by these complex and challenging disorders.
The four groups of narcissists according to their preferred modus operandi
H.G. Tudor classifies narcissists not only according to their level of functioning (lesser, mid-range, greater), but also according to their preferred modus operandi in obtaining narcissistic “fuel” from their targets. These four groups, each with a distinct strategy for manipulating and exploiting others, provide a lens through which we can better identify and understand their tactics. Let us explore these four groups in detail: the Victim Narcissist, the Somatic Narcissist, the Cerebral Narcissist, and the Elite Narcissist.
1. Victim Narcissist
The Victim Narcissist specializes in evoking sympathy and compassion to manipulate those around them. These narcissists carefully construct narratives in which they appear as victims of injustices or unfortunate circumstances. Through self-victimization, they induce others to provide attention, comfort, and admiration, often soliciting help to solve problems that they claim are beyond their control. Their ability to manipulate others’ emotions makes them particularly dangerous, as they can form deep emotional bonds that they exploit to obtain narcissistic fuel without arousing suspicion.
2. Somatic Narcissist
Somatic Narcissists focus primarily on physical appearance, vitality, and sexual conquests as a means to attract admiration and lust from others. Extremely attentive to their bodies and to how they can use them to seduce, these narcissists often boast about their sexual exploits or use their beauty as a tool of power. Their approach is highly superficial; they evaluate others based on physical appearance and tend to surround themselves with people who reflect and reinforce their image. Through seduction and physical charm, the Somatic Narcissist constantly seeks external validation of their desirability.
3. Cerebral Narcissist
In contrast to the somatic type, the Cerebral Narcissist exploits their intelligence, academic achievements, or professional skills to impress and dominate others. These narcissists take pride in their mental abilities and constantly seek to demonstrate their intellectual superiority. They frequently engage in discussions or debates solely to showcase their erudition and to belittle others, thereby obtaining admiration and respect that function as narcissistic fuel. Their need to be recognized as intellectually superior may lead them to social isolation, preferring the company of books or research over that of people.
4. Elite Narcissist
The Elite Narcissist represents a combination of somatic and cerebral traits and boasts of excelling in both domains. These narcissists present themselves as the “complete package,” displaying not only physical attractiveness but also notable achievements in their fields of interest or work. Their ability to balance both physical and intellectual aspects makes them particularly effective at manipulating others, as they can adapt their approach depending on the context and the individuals they wish to influence. The Elite Narcissist desires admiration on all fronts, seeking an almost universal adoration that satisfies their extensive need for narcissistic fuel.
Understanding these four types of narcissists helps recognize the different ways in which they may appear in real life and provides tools to protect oneself from their manipulations. Identifying a narcissist’s particular style is essential for developing appropriate defense strategies and for minimizing the negative impact they can have on others’ lives.
Examples of narcissists: identification in everyday life
To help recognize narcissists across different spheres of life, we will explore practical examples of how the various types of narcissism described by H.G. Tudor may manifest. These examples illustrate how narcissists operate in family, workplace, and social contexts, offering concrete insights for identifying them.
1. Victim Narcissist
Example: Luca is a colleague who always seems to be experiencing some personal crisis. He constantly complains about how his boss and coworkers treat him unfairly, despite there being no evidence of such treatment. He frequently seeks comfort and support from colleagues, portraying himself as a martyr overwhelmed by unjust obligations and responsibilities. Luca uses these stories to avoid work tasks and to gain sympathy and favors without ever reciprocating.
2. Somatic Narcissist
Example: Elisa, known for her polished appearance and for always being the center of attention at parties, uses her physical looks to manipulate others to her advantage. She loves posting frequent selfies and receiving compliments on social media, and she never misses an opportunity to remind others of her numerous romantic conquests. Elisa expects constant admiration and becomes visibly dissatisfied or irritated if someone ignores her or criticizes her appearance.
3. Cerebral Narcissist
Example: Marco is an academic who never misses an opportunity to emphasize his credentials and intellectual superiority. During meetings, he tends to dominate discussions, often interrupting others to correct them or highlight flaws in their reasoning. Marco rarely truly listens to others, preferring instead to use these opportunities to showcase his erudition and demonstrate how well-informed he is, constantly seeking admiration from colleagues and students.
4. Elite Narcissist
Example: Sofia is the CEO of a successful startup and frequently boasts about her abilities both in running her company and maintaining an excellent personal lifestyle. She regularly participates in marathons, speaks at high-profile conferences, and often appears in business and lifestyle magazines. Sofia uses these platforms to project an image of herself as a charismatic and successful leader, seeking admiration both for her professional achievements and her personal lifestyle.
These examples highlight how narcissists can appear in different contexts, using various strategies to obtain the narcissistic fuel they need. Recognizing these behavioral patterns can be the first step in protecting oneself from their manipulations and in managing personal and professional relationships with narcissistic individuals more effectively.
Strategies for relating to narcissists: a guided approach
Interacting with narcissists can be complex and often exhausting, especially without a clear understanding of their motivations and tactics. However, adopting specific strategies can help mitigate the negative impact of these interactions while maintaining healthy relationships and firm boundaries. Below are some recommended approaches for managing the different types of narcissists identified by H.G. Tudor:
1. Victim Narcissist
With the Victim Narcissist, it is essential to maintain clear and firm boundaries. These individuals seek constant sympathy and help, but continually responding to their requests can reinforce their manipulative behavior. It is important to show empathy while also limiting emotional and practical support to what is reasonably sustainable, without sacrificing your own needs. When offering help, it is useful to do so in concrete and time-limited terms, avoiding emotional entanglement in their narratives of victimhood.
2. Somatic Narcissist
Somatic Narcissists can be particularly challenging to manage due to their constant need for attention and admiration. It is crucial not to feed their ego with excessive compliments or continuous attention. Rather than focusing on their appearance or other external qualities, it is more productive to engage in conversations and activities that do not directly reinforce their need to be the center of attention. It is also important not to be seduced by their superficial charm, maintaining emotional distance and evaluating their actions rather than their words.
3. Cerebral Narcissist
Relating to a Cerebral Narcissist requires an approach that does not directly challenge their intellect, as this can lead to confrontation and conflict. Instead of contesting their statements, it may be more effective to listen with a degree of reserved skepticism and attempt to redirect the conversation toward less competitive topics. It is essential not to be intimidated by their apparent intellectual superiority and to seek dialogue on equal footing, acknowledging your own merits and competencies without constantly exposing them to comparison.
4. Elite Narcissist
The approach to an Elite Narcissist must be balanced: it is important to acknowledge their successes and qualities without unconditionally gratifying their need for admiration. Interacting with these individuals requires appreciating their achievements while also emphasizing the importance of collaboration and mutual respect. Establishing and maintaining clear boundaries is crucial, as is avoiding becoming overly dependent on their approval or influenced by their charisma.
In general, the key to managing any type of narcissist is awareness of your own emotions and reactions during interactions with them. It is vital not to become overly emotionally involved and to maintain an objective perspective. Additionally, when possible, seeking external support, such as therapy, can be extremely helpful in navigating these complex interpersonal dynamics and protecting emotional well-being.
What can online therapy do?
Online therapy is increasingly establishing itself as a fundamental tool for helping victims of narcissism escape the destructive web of abuse and manipulation. This mode of intervention offers a safe and confidential environment in which to explore experiences and emotions, overcoming logistical and psychological barriers that may hinder access to traditional in-person therapy.
For those trapped in relationships with narcissists, often characterized by isolation, confusion, and lack of support, online therapy provides immediate access to qualified professionals who understand the complexity of narcissism. Regular sessions help victims identify toxic behaviors and understand the manipulation they have endured, essential steps toward regaining autonomy.
One of the greatest strengths of online therapy is the discretion it offers. Victims can open up and discuss their experiences more freely, without fear of judgment or further harm. Flexibility in scheduling and modes of contact also facilitates consistent engagement in the therapeutic process, which is crucial for long-term recovery.
Among the specific approaches well suited to online therapy are systemic-relational and family therapy, and brief strategic therapy. Systemic-relational therapy focuses on dynamics and interactions within victims’ family and social systems. This approach helps understand how the narcissist’s manipulative behaviors influence and are influenced by relational dynamics, facilitating interventions that can transform these dynamics in healthier and more functional ways.
Brief strategic therapy, on the other hand, is oriented toward solving specific problems and aims to modify victims’ thought and behavior patterns in relatively short timeframes. Through targeted strategies, therapists help victims break the cycle of responding to narcissistic abuse, enabling them to adopt new strategies for dealing with similar situations in the future.
Additionally, online therapy often integrates psychoeducation, providing victims with the knowledge necessary to better understand narcissistic disorder and its implications. This education is vital for breaking the cycle of abuse, as it equips victims with the ability to recognize warning signs and avoid toxic relationships in the future.
Finally, for those who feel isolated and powerless, online therapy offers continuous support and the possibility of connecting with support groups and other community resources, helping rebuild social networks.
In summary, online therapy is a vital bridge to recovery for victims of narcissism, offering adaptive tools, immediate support, and personalized strategies to overcome difficulties and restore well-being in one’s life.
“Recognizing narcissistic traits is not only a step toward greater self-awareness, but also the first step toward emotional freedom. Because only when we understand the shadows that walk among us can we choose to walk in the light.”
Bibliographic references
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.). Washington, DC: Author.
Tudor, H. G. (2016). Confessions of a Narcissist. Independently published.
For information, write to Dr. Jessica Zecchini.
Email contact: consulenza@jessicazecchini.it
WhatsApp contact: 370 32 17 351.
