7 reasons to define a relationship as toxic
7 reasons to define a relationship as toxic
What are the 7 signs that characterize an unhealthy relationship? How can you recognize the physical symptoms that arise in a dysfunctional relationship? What are the harmful consequences of an unhealthy relationship? How can online therapy help?
In any relationship, ups and downs can happen—especially in long-term partnerships where both people have had to compromise, adapt, set boundaries, and support each other through life’s challenges.
Often, though, the other half isn’t the right person—or rather, they aren’t who we want them to be, based on our expectations and needs.
When this happens, one partner may start to feel inadequate and, in order to please the other, feel loved, and stay in the relationship, they begin to change themselves willingly.
In other cases, one partner may face outright threats to force that change; otherwise, they’ll be pushed out of the relationship.
In both cases—especially when the change concerns who we are—we should ask whether we are truly loved for who we are, or only for the idea the other person has of us.
The healthy relationship
A healthy relationship rests on: mutual respect, support, shared life, communication, and physical affection (kisses, caresses, hugs) that make us feel loved and appreciated.
Different viewpoints will still arise. The difference lies in the maturity to recognize them and still move forward in a healthy way—finding solutions and evolving together.
By contrast, an unhealthy relationship is always on the brink: constant push–pull, with one or both partners repeatedly undermining the bond. Incompatibility rules—even if, more often than not, there’s no courage to accept it and step back.
How to tell if your relationship is toxic: 7 signs
- Lack of support: in a healthy bond, partners celebrate each other’s wins. Not feeling supported, encouraged, seen, or heard is a red flag—especially if your achievements bore your partner, leave them indifferent, or even trigger envy.
- Aggressive or sarcastic communication: criticism, hostile tone, sarcasm, and thinly veiled contempt replace kindness, closeness, and respect.
- Jealousy and envy: jealousy signals a lack of trust—either in the partner or in oneself. There are no solid foundations; suspicion reigns, and the partner’s successes may even provoke envy.
- Excessive control: obsessive check-ins, anger if you don’t respond quickly, strings of accusatory messages—these are not care but control, distrust, and uncontrolled jealousy.
- Silent treatment as punishment: the abuser withholds communication to “make you pay”—speaking in monosyllables or ignoring you, in person or by suspending messages and calls.
- Negative handling of finances: toxicity can seep into money management. Agreeing on expenses and savings is best. Beware partners who withdraw substantial amounts from joint accounts for personal purchases—regularly and without consultation.
- Constant stress: feeling persistently on edge, unhappy, mentally and physically exhausted—even when life isn’t throwing major problems your way—is a warning sign that something in the relationship is off.
Physical signs of being in a toxic relationship
- fatigue/low energy
- inflammation, autoimmune flare-ups, muscle pain, skin rashes
- digestive and hormonal issues
- reduced concentration
- muscle tension and stiffness
Symptoms and consequences after a toxic relationship
While ending a toxic relationship can bring relief, especially after a long one you may face post-battle fallout.
The first feeling is often disorientation: Who am I now? How do I rebuild my life? How do I reconnect with family and friends I drifted from? In short: how do I start over? It’s important to rebuild yourself and your self-esteem from the ashes of what was.
Having lived an unhealthy love can also make us suspicious and wary, pushing us further into isolation. And if we don’t understand why it happened—if we don’t process the experience to learn from it and address the (often unconscious) mechanisms that led to a toxic bond—we risk repeating the same dynamics in a new relationship.
How online therapy can help
Online therapy can help you identify the signs of a toxic relationship and define targeted strategies to face it and reclaim yourself and your well-being. This includes replacing toxic models with healthy ones and taking responsibility for unconscious factors that need to be processed and uprooted—so you can regain mental and physical health and acquire the tools to spot and avoid future harmful bonds, learning to distinguish true love from unhealthy love.
For more information, contact Dr. Jessica Zecchini.
Email: consulenza@jessicazecchini.it, WhatsApp: +39 370 32 17 351
