Ghosting: why it happens and how to protect yourself
Ghosting: why it happens and how to protect yourself
What is ghosting and how can you protect yourself? Who is the ghoster? What is the difference between ghosting and orbiting? How can online therapy help victims overcome the damage caused by ghosting?
The term ghosting has become increasingly common in media, articles, and social networks, especially in the context of romantic relationships and breakups. But what does this phenomenon really mean? To “ghost” someone is to cut off communication and disappear without a trace: no calls, no messages, no replies, no interaction. The lack of any explanation for this sudden disappearance is the defining feature of ghosting. For this reason, victims are often left in the dark, unable to understand why communication was cut off or why the partner (or person they were dating) decided to vanish. Those who are ghosted tend to feel extremely disoriented, questioning and blaming themselves, coming up with the most improbable reasons for the abrupt abandonment, and desperately trying to interpret signs without any real evidence.
The profile of the ghoster: who they are and what they do
A ghoster—the one who practices ghosting—is someone unable to take responsibility. Out of fear of disappointing the other person, of not knowing how to openly admit they’ve lost interest, or simply to avoid complications, they vanish. Instead of facing the situation, they believe disappearing is the easiest way to avoid being hated or hurting feelings—while above all freeing themselves from responsibility and the burden of a failed relationship. In doing so, they invalidate the other person, deprive them of answers, and sever ties without warning.
The ghoster’s profile often overlaps with narcissistic or emotionally immature personalities: people with little empathy (narcissists, passive-aggressives, emotionally detached individuals), habitual liars, or simply childish personalities who prefer to flee rather than face reality in a mature and responsible way.
Ghosting vs. orbiting
In today’s world, where relationships often develop through social media, disappearing has become easier than ever. Hiding behind a screen makes it simple to avoid difficult conversations, dodge blame, and save energy. By not answering calls or blocking someone, ghosters avoid confrontation, escape responsibility, and sidestep the role of “the bad guy.”
But sometimes the disappearance isn’t permanent. This is where orbiting comes in: vanishing and then reappearing at will, keeping the other person waiting, stringing them along, feeding false hope. For example: ending a relationship but continuing to watch their stories, like their posts, or comment on their updates. Orbiting is not about genuine interest—it’s manipulation, a way to maintain control and influence over the victim without committing to a real relationship.
Effects on the victim
Victims of ghosting often experience discomfort, disbelief, anger, guilt, and a profound sense of abandonment. Their emotions swing between confusion and desperation, while they keep waiting for a response or an explanation that will never come. This limbo feeds insecurity and intensifies the search for the ghoster (excessive calls, repeated messages, compulsively checking social media).
Experts compare the pain of ghosting to that of mourning a death: a loss without answers, leaving the victim trapped in conflicting emotions—sadness, anger, nostalgia—after being cut off overnight without warning.
How to defend yourself and move on
Anyone can be a victim of ghosting, and it is crucial not to blame yourself. Feeling confused, sad, or destabilized is normal. It’s easy to feel undesirable, unworthy, or “not enough” for someone who chose to disappear without explanation.
The key is to focus on yourself: accept what happened, practice self-care, and rebuild self-esteem. Avoid self-criticism and obsessive overthinking. Dedicate time to activities you enjoy, spend time with people who appreciate you, and seek environments that nourish your well-being.
Victims of ghosting often struggle to focus on their own needs, instead isolating themselves and losing motivation. This is where online therapy can provide crucial support, guiding the victim step by step to process the emotional abuse, regain clarity, and strengthen resilience.
How online therapy can help
Online therapy is an effective tool to overcome the damage of ghosting. It helps victims stop self-blame, rediscover their self-worth, and learn to identify narcissistic and immature profiles early on—those most likely to use ghosting as a way to escape responsibility. Therapy offers practical strategies to heal, rebuild self-esteem, and regain trust in future relationships.
For more information, contact Dr. Jessica Zecchini
Email: consulenza@jessicazecchini.it — WhatsApp: +39 370 32 17 351
