How to overcome emotional attachment: the essential steps
How to overcome emotional attachment: the essential steps
What limiting beliefs in a relationship lead to emotional dependence? How can you recognize the symptoms of an emotional attachment that makes you ill? What are the steps to overcome emotional dependency?
Over the course of our lives, the people we meet, the places we frequent, and the bonds of love, friendship, and family inevitably bring transformations—particularly in how we act, think, and live.
It is not uncommon for a pleasant or long-lasting encounter with another person to trigger a kind of symbiosis. This, in turn, fuels the belief that without the other we would not be complete, that we are nothing, that we could never move forward—or at least not live well.
We are talking about an emotional attachment that can turn into a true dependency. Unfortunately, this mechanism often goes unrecognized. People caught in it keep claiming they are free, autonomous, not dependent on anyone. In reality, very often this is not the case at all.
Our unconscious tends to perceive that constant presence in our lives not as a small gift that adds to who we are, but gradually assimilates it as part of our very being. The other’s behaviors, attitudes, and thoughts are slowly taken on as our own, automatically, often without our even realizing it.
In small doses, this process is not entirely wrong. The problem arises when a situation of sharing with a partner—or with the attachment figure in question—turns into a condition in which the other’s presence is endured to the point of harming oneself. This is dependency, and all too often we are not aware of these chains.
How to recognize emotional attachment
The first warning signs that you are dependent on another’s presence are physical and psychological distress: insomnia, panic attacks, anxiety states, stomach pain.
When the person with whom an attachment bond has developed leaves our life—or even the mere thought that they might distance themselves—it generates a real trauma for our being.
The unconscious that had previously assimilated this figure as an integral part of the self now struggles enormously to find its center again, bringing with it a deep sense of disorientation and instability.
How to overcome emotional attachment
Emotional attachment, like any other addiction, is a powerful condition and requires a great deal of willpower and targeted help to weaken it and return to living a free life, aware of one’s own worth.
Until that point, we may have lived in such symbiosis with the other that we began to fade, to no longer recognize ourselves, to feel lost in front of who we are. Emptiness, suffering, a sense of lack. It is as if a part of our being had been torn away, and this becomes the only fixed thought.
Attachment does not allow us to think as separate individuals; it has so deeply internalized the idea of “us with the other person” that now, without them, we no longer feel complete. The symptoms of emotional attachment become so evident that they also manifest physically, bringing with them a sensation of being totally uprooted from ourselves, from our beliefs, from what we thought we were until now.
The solution to unlock this dramatic situation, however, lies precisely here: realizing that those attitudes, those beliefs, those thoughts developed over time are not “us,” they are not part of our “inner self.”
It is important to start over and rediscover ourselves—who we truly are—regardless of others and circumstances. Above all, it is important to relearn how to love in a healthy way. An online psychotherapy path can transform insecure attachment into secure attachment and is extremely effective in these circumstances.
Key concepts to understand in order to overcome emotional attachment
- self-love is essential: learn to be well on your own and to love yourself; do not desperately seek others’ love—start finding it within yourself;
- we have one life: we came into the world alone, with our being and essence; do not give anyone the power to steer your journey;
- give yourself the chance to fill your own voids: become a whole, fulfilled person;
- stay responsible and aware of your choices: if a bond does not feel right, you do not have to hold on to it to avoid suffering; you will suffer anyway—and more—if you do not learn the beauty of letting go;
- remain the center of yourself: get to know who you really are; choose to devote yourself only to people who truly add to or strengthen you; the other should not replace you, take from you, manipulate you, or tamper with your essence.
For a healthy relationship, it is good to remember that you are already a complete person, endowed with all the qualities needed to live well and serenely. You are what truly matters; everything else is a plus. There are no “weak” people—there are insecure or unaware people who can learn to regain awareness, strength, beauty, and personal power.
For information, contact Dr. Jessica Zecchini.
Email: consulenza@jessicazecchini.it — WhatsApp: +39 370 32 17 351.
