The wound of abandonment
The wound of abandonment
How can we recognize the wound of abandonment? What causes it? What health problems can it lead to? How can online therapy help heal the wound of abandonment?
The wound of abandonment is typically experienced by children who are physically or emotionally abandoned by a parent, or who—even within an apparently stable family—still feel the trauma of absence or separation that becomes deeply ingrained.
This wound creates people with a dependent profile, especially in emotional terms. Those who carry it often become dependent on the very person from whom they seek affection.
Physical and personality traits of the abandonment wound
According to Lise Bourbeau, author of “Listen to Your Body,” this wound may even manifest in physical features: large, magnetic, often sad eyes; sagging or weak body parts; poor muscle tone; weak legs; and a curved back, as if unable to carry life’s weight alone.
Personality-wise, individuals are empathetic but emotionally unstable, swinging between joy and sadness. Their voice may sound childlike or plaintive. They crave care, attention, and constant reassurance, struggle to accept rejection, and often cling to others. They may cry easily, feel like victims, and attract pity. To fill their void, they may seek excessive sex, food, or physical closeness.
Common feelings include loneliness, jealousy, possessiveness, pressure, and the sense of being unable to cope alone—physically or mentally.
Related health issues
When unhealed, the abandonment wound can be associated with conditions such as:
- Myopia
- Back pain
- Asthma or bronchitis
- Migraines
- Agoraphobia
- Hysteria
- Diabetes or hypoglycemia
- Even rare or unusual illnesses that unconsciously serve to attract attention
How the wound is triggered
The wound of abandonment usually develops in early childhood (often before age three), particularly through unmet emotional needs from the opposite-sex parent. This early lack of affection becomes ingrained and resurfaces in adulthood whenever the person feels alone, unloved, or deprived of care.
Even independent and self-sufficient adults may relapse into dependency behaviors—complaining, seeking reassurance, or clinging—when they neglect their own needs and self-love.
How online therapy can help
Online therapy can help identify whether abandonment is the underlying trauma holding you back from growth and serenity. By exploring family and intergenerational patterns, therapy supports awareness, protection, and healing of the inner child who reappears in recurring situations.
Healing occurs when the individual feels truly well alone, seeks less external validation, and learns to listen to themselves. The wound of abandonment—called the wound of love—teaches us to transform pain into self-care and compassion. With this healing, it becomes possible to build healthy relationships based on true love and respect, aligned with the soul’s path.
Participation in the “Online psychotherapy group for adults who were victims of childhood abuse” (link) is also recommended.
For information, contact Dr. Jessica Zecchini
Email: consulenza@jessicazecchini.it — WhatsApp: +39 370 32 17 351
