Relationships become a cage when these things happen
Relationships become a cage when these things happen
What are “cage-bonds”? How should you act when you feel trapped in a suffocating relationship? How can online therapy help you work on childhood patterns to break free from stifling, wrong kinds of love?
When does love become a cage?
The answers could be endless, but the key reference point is the degree of freedom we have in a relationship.
When personal boundaries are not respected; when one’s own will—or the other person’s—no longer counts; when you can no longer see yourself as an individual but only as part of a couple; when you are constantly pushed into the background. These are the main signs that, over time, build a true relational cage.
Elements such as forbidding the other to go out, to dress a certain way, to see certain people, to say or think certain things, belong to a broader issue tied to emotional dependence.
When love becomes a constraint
Sometimes even affectionate bonds become constraining in the negative sense. A relationship that traps and binds prevents growth. The other’s presence can become a real weight on our wings. Faced with this realization, many partners remain in the relationship despite feeling deprived of the creative spark that once shone in their eyes. Doubts and misgivings are shelved; one turns a blind eye and carries on because the fear of the unknown is stronger than a stagnant, yet familiar, present.
We often find ourselves in counterproductive, suffocating, seemingly endless relationships in which neither partner takes control of their life for their own good—or both—and brings the story to an end.
This happens because one fears losing identity: not being able to be “someone’s wife,” “someone’s husband,” “someone’s employee,” or “someone’s friend,” even when that company has drained our light and will to live.
It’s time to find yourself again
In a stifling couple, it becomes very easy to lose your compass—your needs and ambitions.
It turns into a bad habit consolidated over time: neglecting your needs, shelving passions or friendships, putting your true self at risk—those intimate pieces that defined you as a whole human being, not as the proverbial “other half.” Because that is what we are: whole beings who may have adopted patterns that now undermine our identity and our ability to recognize ourselves as unique individuals.
Reclaiming the positive parts of us—the ones that make us feel alive, fulfilled, and satisfied—is crucial.
Courage
Start with an act of courage toward yourself. Exiting a “cage-relationship” is not easy. However, the very fact that you’re reading this suggests your subconscious has begun to stir.
Patterns of dependence need to be identified and acknowledged and then definitively broken. Online therapy is very useful here: it helps you work on yourself and reclaim your worth and freedom.
Self-love
To leave the prison we helped build, an act of self-love is essential. When was the last time you smiled? What would you do if you saw signs of frustration, negativity, and suffering on a close friend’s face?
Treat yourself with the same care. Every small step matters in restoring strength and confidence and taking back the reins of your life. And remember: you are not alone. With a skilled therapist, you can analyze the situation, pinpoint the experiences that shaped your current patterns, and reclaim your personal power to live an authentic, manipulation-free life aligned with your true self.
Love for what has been
Cage-bonds are often counterproductive for both partners. There are no winners. Over time, both people’s quality of life declines. Despite progress here and there, you reach a stalemate where the two personalities no longer align, yet you can’t find the courage to end things, despite growing unhappiness. This is when you need strong support and a profound act of love—for yourself and for the other. By freeing yourself from a limiting bond, you also free the other to follow their path.
How online therapy can help
Re-examining who you are and your self-image is the turning point. Through online therapy, you can identify which caging dynamics and bonds you witnessed since childhood, which ones you internalized as “reference models,” and which limiting beliefs you need to address to stop depriving yourself of the beauty of a free, evolving relationship—where both partners grow and cultivate the best version of themselves.
As is often the case, affective bonds and ways of loving are learned in youth within the family. Parents, caregivers, and their relational patterns are crucial in shaping mechanisms that may later harm our adult relationships.
Online therapy allows you to investigate the true reasons for relational “imprisonment,” understand childhood experiences, and analyze why certain toxic dynamics resurface—even years later—in the present.
In this way, you can dissolve your chains, starting a path of evolution and self-assertion that depends on you—here and now—not on what has been, laying new foundations for a happier, more conscious, and serene future.
For information, contact Dr. Jessica Zecchini.
Email: consulenza@jessicazecchini.it — WhatsApp: +39 370 32 17 351
