Maintaining your privacy: what to share and with whom
Maintaining your privacy: what to share and with whom
What are the most common secrets? With whom should you share them to lighten your emotional burden and turn the page? Are there pieces of information better kept to yourself? What makes a good listener? How can online therapy help?
Some revelations cause no harm—such as entrusted confidences, a planned surprise trip, personal affairs, career growth, or the blossoming of a new relationship. As Truman Capote once wrote:
“Most secrets should never be revealed, especially those that are more dangerous for the listener than for the one who tells them.”
Sometimes, keeping privacy and safeguarding certain information allows us to focus more on ourselves and avoid being distracted by external judgment.
But there are other, heavier secrets that weigh on our minds. Over time, these prevent us from living fully in the present, damage our quality of life, and obstruct personal growth.
The most common secrets
According to research by Slepian and Koch (Psychology Today), the most widespread secrets involve:
- Infidelity
- Sexual violence
- Abortion
- Sexual orientation
- Religious orientation
- Mental illness
- Sexually transmitted disease
- Having committed or suffered abuse
- Alcohol or drug problems
- Losing large sums of money
- Workplace fraud
- Having committed a crime
Some of these secrets remain untold due to shame, fear, or a sense of immorality, even to trusted people.
Why are some secrets so damaging?
Harmless secrets may help us protect our privacy. But secrets rooted in shame or trauma—left unspoken—can worsen psychological suffering and even physical health. John-Manuel Andriote (Psychology Today) describes how years of silence surrounding a loved one’s alcoholism left him burdened with guilt, anxiety, and a misplaced sense of responsibility. Only by processing these feelings did he realize the weight he carried was not his fault.
Confiding: how and with whom
Sharing a long-held secret can be cathartic and liberating. But the choice of confidant is crucial. The listener must be receptive, trustworthy, open, and empathetic. Loved ones may offer comfort, but they can also be too emotionally involved or lack the skills to provide objective guidance.
How online therapy can help
Online therapy provides a safe, professional, and compassionate space to process secrets, break cycles of shame, and free oneself from the burden of silence. A therapist can help you explore hidden emotions, find clarity, and transform painful secrecy into personal growth.
For further insights, see the article “The qualities of a good psychotherapist.”
For information, contact Dr. Jessica Zecchini
Email: consulenza@jessicazecchini.it — WhatsApp: +39 370 32 17 351
