The wound of rejection: the ‘fugitive’
The wound of rejection: the ‘fugitive’
Why is the wound of rejection considered the wound of the “fugitive”? What are its characteristics? What can online therapy do?
The wound of rejection, also known as the wound of the “fugitive,” is one of the strongest and most insidious, among the first to appear and to take root already in childhood. This wound speaks of a very deep tear of the soul, as it implies the rejection of oneself, an inner rejection that therefore does not accept one’s own image, thoughts, feelings, skills, or abilities, the right to be as one is.
When this wound emerges, moreover, it can pour out onto various factors such as relationships, family, or simply on oneself, in a very painful way. The feelings generated are of rejection, the thoughts are extremely negative and distorted, focused on low self-esteem and self-devaluation.
A person who experiences the deep tear of rejection will tend to isolate themselves in their own world, to withdraw into their inner emptiness, believing themselves unworthy of life, of the world, of others; feeling undeserving of the consideration or affection of others, they will also seek isolation to avoid being rejected (by a partner, by work, by society), and thus as an expedient to avoid reliving that traumatic sensation that usually took root and was experienced since childhood.
From here comes the mask of the “fugitive.” That is, one begins to adopt an “elusive” profile within society or when relating to others. In these contexts, fears, panic episodes, and disabling thoughts can prevail, compromising the quality of one’s life. In this, therapy can help to better understand these fears and work on them.
The wound of rejection can be activated even before birth, when the child feels they are not truly wanted by their parents, when they therefore do not embrace the right to exist; or it can take hold as early as the first year of life, usually with the parental figure of the same sex.
The characteristics of the “fugitive”
This immense pain that takes root can be alleviated only by wearing the mask of the “fugitive,” which carries with it specific characteristics:
- narrow, thin, slender body;
- small eyes or with a mask-like halo around the eyes, frightened eyes;
- faint and weak voice;
- frequent verbal expressions such as: disappear, nonexistent, nothingness, nothing;
- intellectual character, detached from materiality (therefore from what roots: deficient first chakra), perfectionist;
- periods of deep love can alternate with phases of great hatred;
- sexual difficulties or problems in intimate relationships with others;
- search for solitude, elusive behaviors, continuous search for ways to become invisible or to escape;
- sense of being perpetually misunderstood, sense of low worth;
- difficulty letting their inner child rejoice; it is also thought that the fugitive mask hates expressions such as dance, as it would draw too much attention, their concern being not to be noticed;
- “small and curled up” sitting posture, the fugitive likes to keep their feet under their thighs while seated and to make themselves small on the chair, since the posture is not well rooted it will be easier to stand up and flee;
- tendency to do much for others (to avoid feeling rejected) but sense of not receiving enough;
- greatest phobia: experiencing panic (this leads them to isolate themselves, or to avoid circumstances or relationships where there is a possibility of being rejected, often without giving explanations, just to avoid experiencing the sensation of rejection that reactivates the inner wound and therefore panic).
ìAs for the illnesses that the wound of rejection can generate, they primarily concern eating problems: there is a predisposition to thinness and anorexia, because the emotions and fear in which one lives take away appetite.
Those who experience the mask of the “fugitive” usually eat small portions; however, food can be used as an expedient to “flee” from the world that does not understand them, in particular sugar; but substances such as alcohol and drugs may also be used for the same reason.
Other illnesses found in paths with rejection trauma concern the skin, allergies, respiratory problems, diarrhea, diabetes, hypoglycemia, fainting, depression accompanied by suicidal thoughts, psychosis.
What can online therapy do?
The person affected by the wound of rejection feeds this trauma every time they devalue themselves, call themselves a failure or incompetent, every time they mistakenly feel like a nothing, every time they run away and every time they think they are nothing in the lives of others or in society. Online therapy therefore helps to verify if this wound is part of our experience, helps us to understand how it took hold and what fears and mechanisms, often unconscious and repetitive, activate it; helping to rediscover one’s personal worth and affirm it in ourselves and in the world.
The wound of rejection, in fact, will only heal when one dares to assert oneself and feel comfortable in one’s own skin, since we ourselves have learned to give ourselves the right nourishment and recognition, feeling worthy of love and value, giving ourselves the right to exist, remaining rooted and at ease even when others seem to have apparently forgotten us.
A group online therapy experience for adults who were victims of childhood abuse is also recommended.
For information, contact Dr. Jessica Zecchini
Email: consulenza@jessicazecchini.it, WhatsApp: 370 32 17 351
