If you have done these things, you can consider yourself satisfied with yourself
If you have done these things, you can consider yourself satisfied with yourself
Have you ever wondered whether you’re doing enough? And what if you were already further along than you think? What can online therapy do?
We live in a time in which comparison is constant. We scroll through other people’s lives on social media as if it were a catalogue of successes, comparing our moments of uncertainty with other people’s shop windows. And so, slowly, we convince ourselves that we’re not doing enough, that we’re behind, that maybe we’re worth less.
But what would happen if, instead of chasing external goals, we started to recognize what we have already built inside ourselves?
There are moments, choices, gestures, that make no noise but have enormous value. They don’t end up on stages, they don’t attract likes, but they are the sign of an authentic and courageous path. They are the things that transform us, day after day, often without us realizing it.
Satisfaction does not mean perfection. It is not arriving at a precise destination, but knowing how to look back and see how much road we have already traveled, often without maps, but with a lot of strength of spirit.
This article wants to be an invitation for you to stop for a moment, look inside yourself and recognize your steps. Even if silent, even if imperfect, they are yours. And they are worth a great deal.
If you have had even just one of these inner experiences, you deserve to feel proud of yourself. Because, perhaps, you are already much further along than you think.
This article is dedicated precisely to this: to those who are growing, to those who are fighting, to those who every day make courageous choices, even if silent. If you recognize yourself even in just one of these ten signals, know that you are already much further along than you believe.
1) The courage to look fear in the face
Overcoming a fear does not mean no longer feeling it, but choosing to go forward despite that sensation that tightens your stomach and blocks your legs. Sometimes fear shows up in subtle forms: a change you avoid, a decision you put off, a conversation you cannot manage to face. But every time that, with all the trembling in the world, you still choose to take a step toward what scares you, you perform an act of enormous personal strength.
It is not necessary to climb mountains or speak in front of a crowd to be courageous. True courage, often, hides in the most intimate and invisible gestures: signing up for that course you have been postponing for years, ending a toxic relationship, starting therapy. That is where transformation begins.
As Susan Jeffers reminds us in her book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, the problem is not fear itself, but the fact that we often let it guide our choices. In reality, every time we choose to act, even while trembling, we strengthen our trust in ourselves.
For this reason, if you have ever done even just one thing that scared you, know that you have already won much more than you think.
2. The strength of invisible gestures
Helping someone without expecting anything in return is one of the purest and most powerful forms of humanity. It is easy to be kind when there is a return, when you receive gratitude, recognition, or approval. But there is another kind of gesture, more silent and disinterested, that comes from a deep instinct: that of being there for the other, simply because it is right that way.
Maybe you listened to a friend in the worst moment of his life, even though you yourself needed to be listened to. Maybe you did something to lighten someone’s day, without telling anyone. Those gestures do not end up on a bulletin board, they are not shared in stories, but they have a real, tangible, lasting impact.
As Dale Carnegie teaches, the value of human relationships is not in what we can obtain, but in the quality of what we offer. Being kind, offering time, attention, understanding is an act that speaks about you, not about what you receive in return.
If you have done it at least once, know that you left an imprint. And even if no one told you, your gesture made a difference.
3. Lessons that are not taught at school
Making mistakes is inevitable. But truly learning from a mistake, that is a choice. There is a moment, after every fall, in which we can decide whether to blame ourselves or listen to what that experience has to tell us. And in that moment growth is born.
Mistakes are not failures, they are tools. Sometimes painful, of course. But deeply revealing. They show us who we are, what we lack, where we can improve. They do not define us: they shape us. And every time we choose to face them with honesty, without excuses or pretenses, we reclaim our personal power.
John C. Maxwell, in his book Failing Forward, says it clearly: it is not important if you fall, but whether you learn something while you get back up. Every mistake carries an opportunity. It is up to us to turn it into experience and make it an integral part of our path.
If you looked your mistake straight in the eyes, and drew a lesson from it instead of turning the other way, then you are already ahead. Further ahead than you think.
4. Loving yourself is not selfishness. It is wisdom
Taking care of yourself does not mean being selfish. It means recognizing that you too deserve time, attention and respect. In a world that rewards productivity and constant rushing, stopping to listen to your needs can seem like a luxury. But in reality it is an act of responsibility toward yourself and toward others.
It is not only about eating healthy or sleeping more — even if it is part of the game. Taking care of yourself is much more: it is stopping ignoring your discomfort, it is learning to say “enough” before reaching the limit, it is allowing yourself a break without feeling guilty. It is asking yourself: “What is good for me, really?”
And having the courage to answer with sincerity.
Stephen R. Covey, in his famous book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, speaks about the importance of “sharpening the saw”: that is, renewing yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually to stay effective. Because you cannot give anything authentic to others if you have not first taken care of yourself.
If you have ever made space for your needs, even just for a moment, you have already done something deep. Because loving yourself is not weakness. It is the foundation of everything else.
5. Lighting the inner spark
Following a passion is one of the purest ways to reconnect with your essence. In a world that pushes us to be “useful” before we are even authentic, dedicating time to something that truly excites us is almost a revolutionary act.
A passion can be small, private, even imperfect. It does not necessarily have to turn into a job, nor bring applause. It is enough that it makes you feel alive. That it makes you forget time while you do it. That it brings you back to yourself, every time you get lost.
Writing, dancing, playing, painting, growing plants or learning something new: the “what” is not important, but the “how.” If you do it with your heart, if you do it because it nourishes you inside, then it already has value. And a lot of it.
Elizabeth Gilbert, in Big Magic, reminds us that creativity is not a luxury for a few chosen ones, but a human right. We do not have to be geniuses to allow ourselves the joy of creating, exploring, getting lost in what we like. Passion, even if simple or silent, is a precious compass that brings us home.
If even just once you followed what made your eyes shine — against judgment, against time, against everything — then you listened to an authentic part of yourself. And this is already a great achievement.
6. The courage not to make it on our own
Asking for help is an often underestimated gesture, but incredibly powerful. In a culture that celebrates independence and “I can do it alone,” admitting that you need something can seem like a sign of weakness. But the truth is that recognizing your limits and reaching out is one of the most authentic forms of strength.
It is not easy to say “I can’t do it,” especially when we are used to wearing masks of self-sufficiency. But whoever finds the courage to expose themselves, to ask to be heard, to be seen in their vulnerability is choosing connection over pride, healing over silence.
Researcher Brené Brown, in her book The Power of Vulnerability, reminds us that vulnerability is not a flaw to hide, but a bridge toward empathy and authentic relationship. Showing ourselves as human is what makes us real, not fragile.
If even just once you asked for help — with a broken voice, with trembling hands, with the fear of being judged — know that in that moment you did not give up. You entrusted yourself. And this is one of the most courageous gestures one can perform.
7. The power of a sincere no
Saying “no” can seem simple, but often it is one of the hardest words to pronounce. Behind that monosyllable hide deep fears: disappointing someone, seeming selfish, losing affection or approval. And yet, learning to say “no” when needed is a fundamental step toward personal freedom.
Every time you say “yes” to something that weighs on you, you risk saying “no” to yourself. But when you begin to choose what is good for you — even if it means displeasing someone else — you begin to build a healthy boundary between who you are and what others expect from you.
Saying “no” is not shutting yourself off, it is protecting yourself. It is recognizing that your time, your energy and your serenity are worth something. Henry Cloud, author of the book Boundaries, emphasizes how essential it is to learn to set limits in order to live healthy and authentic relationships. Because without boundaries, we risk losing ourselves.
If at some moment in your life you had the courage to refuse something that hurt you, emptied you, or simply did not reflect you, you made a powerful choice. You put yourself at the center, with respect and awareness. And this is not selfishness: it is self-esteem.
8. Where comfort ends, growth begins
The comfort zone is a mental place where everything is predictable, familiar, safe. And in some ways it is also useful: it protects us, calms us, makes us feel sheltered. But staying there too long can become a silent prison, where you never fall but you also never fly.
Leaving that zone does not mean throwing yourself into the void without a parachute. It means taking small steps toward what we do not yet know, accepting discomfort as part of the path. It is facing a new challenge, speaking when we would have wanted to stay silent, making an uncomfortable but necessary decision.
Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, writes that inner freedom is conquered by facing pain and difficulties with a deep purpose. Change, even the hardest, is often the door through which personal transformation passes.
If you have ever found yourself choosing something that scared you, but that you felt was right for you, if you have ever said “I don’t know what will happen, but I’ll do it anyway,” then yes, you left comfort to choose growth. And that is worth more than any apparent certainty.
9. The beauty of being real with others
In a world where appearance often takes the place of substance, building sincere relationships is an almost revolutionary act. It means choosing truth instead of pleasing, deep listening instead of superficial conversation. It means exposing yourself, truly putting yourself on the line, without filters and without pretenses.
Authentic relationships are not necessarily perfect. Sometimes they are tiring, they require presence, dialogue and mutual respect. But they are also the ones that nourish us, that make us feel seen for what we are, not for what we show. In these connections, there is no need to pretend strength when we feel fragile, nor to force a smile when inside it is hard.
Daniel Goleman, in his book Emotional Intelligence, emphasizes that the ability to relate to others in an empathic and conscious way is a fundamental skill for our happiness. Because no goal makes sense if we cannot share it with those who truly know us.
If you chose to cultivate relationships based on trust, even by giving up empty or toxic bonds, then you did something immense. You said yes to quality, and no to quantity. You chose the real, instead of the easy.
10. The forgiveness that frees: yourself
Forgiving yourself is perhaps one of the hardest acts to perform. We are often our most severe judges, ready to reproach ourselves for what we did not do, for what we did wrong, for every word not said or said badly. But continuing to punish yourself for past mistakes does not repair the damage: it prolongs it.
Forgiving yourself does not mean forgetting, nor justifying every choice. It means recognizing that, in that moment, with the tools we had, we did our best — or at least, what we were capable of doing. It is an act of humanity toward oneself, a step toward inner reconciliation.
As Desmond Tutu reminds us in No Future Without Forgiveness, forgiveness is not weakness: it is a process that requires courage, patience and compassion. And when you direct it toward yourself, it can become the first true act of healing.
If you chose to let go of the weight of guilt, even just a little, if you stopped continually reliving that moment that tormented you, then you are going in the right direction. It is not about forgetting who you were, but making peace with that part of you, in order to finally move forward with lightness and dignity.
What can online therapy do?
We live in a society that rewards performance, speed, adaptation. From childhood we learn to build an image to show to the world: efficient, brilliant, winning. Thus, without even realizing it, we begin to live driven by what the ego desires — approval, recognition, power, control — and not by what the soul whispers, often in a low voice: authenticity, truth, meaning.
The ego is not the enemy. It serves to protect us, to structure us, to orient us in the world. But when it takes over, it distances us from ourselves. It pushes us to chase goals that do not belong to us, to suffocate uncomfortable emotions, to ignore the signals of discomfort in the name of apparent perfection. It leads us to act out a script written by others, while inside us something slowly goes out.
In this context, online therapy can offer a concrete, accessible and transformative opportunity for those who feel the need to return to themselves. A protected space in which one can finally stop, breathe, listen to oneself. A place in which to stop “having to be” something and begin to discover who one really is.
Unlike the daily roles we cover — child, parent, partner, professional — in therapy there is no need to play anything. You don’t have to please, convince or justify yourself. You can be. Period. And in that freedom, often never experienced before, the soul begins to make itself heard. Perhaps with a crack in the chest, a held-back tear, an unexpressed need. But it is there. And it is real.
The online mode makes everything even more accessible: you can connect from your safe space, without the weight of travel or formalities. This favors a more immediate, more sincere contact. It allows you to bring into the session what you are, where you are: in your vulnerability, in your doubts, in the moments when the ego wavers and you no longer know where you are going.
Through a therapeutic path, you learn tools to recognize when choices are made to “appear” rather than to feel. Awareness is cultivated, inner listening is trained, you learn to distinguish the voice of the ego — often urgent and loud — from that of the soul, more subtle, but deeply rooted in personal truth.
Aligning with your soul means learning to live in coherence with what you feel, even if this requires changes, renunciations, courage. And therapy, if conducted with trust and openness, can be the first step toward this deep reconnection. A path that does not change you to please the world, but brings you back to yourself, to finally feel whole.
“The true satisfaction is not born from what you possess, but from what you had the courage to face, build and choose for yourself.”
Bibliographic References:
- Brown, Brené – La forza della fragilità. Il coraggio di sbagliare e rinascere più forti di prima (Vallardi A., 2016)
- Carnegie, Dale – Come trattare gli altri e farseli amici (Bompiani, ed. 2022)
- Cloud, Henry, Townsend, John – Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Contro Of Your Life (Zondervan, 2017)
- Covey, Stephen R. – Le 7 regole per avere successo (Franco Angeli, 2025)
- Frankl, Viktor E. – L’uomo in cerca di senso. Uno psicologo nel Lager (Franco Angeli, 2017)
- Gilbert, Elizabeth – Big Magic. Vinci la paura e scopri il miracolo di una vita creativa (Rizzoli, 2016)
- Goleman, Daniel – Intelligenza emotiva (Rizzoli, 2011)
- Jeffers, Susan – Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway (Ebury Digital, 2014)
- Maxwell, John C. – Failing Forward. Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success (Harper Collins Leadership, 2007)
- Tutu, Desmond & Tutu, Mpho – Non c’è futuro senza perdono(Feltrinelli, 2001)
For information write to Dr. Jessica Zecchini. Email contact: consulenza@jessicazecchini.it, WhatsApp contact: +39 370 32 17 351.
